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$HORSESHIT
My professor said crypto is horse shit. So I made it a coin.
Contract Address
gtqej8ZR9djMBBo4qFFgDwV8RyoMqkA4ayYGSPPpump
CLICK TO COPY
> THE PROOF
Actual Google Classroom · Unedited
Professor's actual Google Classroom post telling students not to do crypto
SCREENSHOT FROM THE ACTUAL CLASS. YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS UP.
Professor's Exact Words
"You may as well invest in HORSE SHIT."
— Prof. [REDACTED], Financial Modeling Analysis — Final Project, Spring 2026
> THE ASSIGNMENT THAT STARTED IT ALL
> MY RESPONSE

He said be creative. He said think outside the box. He said pick something with potential to deliver a solid return.

Then in the P.S. he told me not to do crypto because I "may as well invest in horse shit." Excuse his French.

So I did exactly what he told me. I invested in horse shit. I launched $HORSESHIT on Solana — named after his exact words — and am going to present the PnL chart as my final project.

He wanted innovative ideas. He's getting one.

"Be creative and think outside the box." — The same professor who said invest in horse shit.

> GRADING THE PROFESSOR
Prof. [REDACTED]
Department of Finance · 15 Years
F
Still uses overhead projector slides
BOOMER
Thinks the internet is "a phase"
WRONG
Portfolio is 100% bonds and gold
NGMI
Doesn't know what a blockchain is
WRONG
Called crypto "HORSE SHIT"
BULLISH
"Professor demonstrates classic boomer tendencies — refuses to adapt, clings to outdated models, and rejects anything he doesn't understand. His 'HORSE SHIT' declaration may be the most bullish signal of the cycle. Recommend inverse positioning immediately."
> THE PROFESSOR'S TRACK RECORD
The Slides
Still uses overhead projector slides.
The rest of the department switched to PowerPoint a decade ago. He thinks Google Docs is "the cloud."
The Internet
"The internet is a phase."
Said this to a lecture hall full of students who applied online. Zero self-awareness.
The Portfolio
100% bonds and gold.
Brags about his 3% annual return like it's alpha. Inflation ate his gains for breakfast.
The Blockchain
Doesn't know what a blockchain is.
Once called it "a type of spreadsheet." Teaches a finance class. Let that sink in.
The Cope
"Nobody needs cryptocurrency."
Said from his iPhone, using apps built on venture-backed fintech. His Venmo works because of the tech he hates.
The Catalyst
"Crypto is HORSE SHIT."
$HORSESHIT launches on Solana. The ultimate boomer contrarian indicator has spoken. Thank you, Professor.
> THE CASE AGAINST THE PROFESSOR
0%
Professor's crypto allocation. He's ngmi.
100x
Target return to email him the chart.
F
The grade I'm willing to take for the culture.
> THE ASSIGNMENT SHEET
Financial Modeling Analysis · Spring 2026
Financial Modeling Analysis — Final Project
Students will select one alternative investment and present a comprehensive analysis on its potential, risks, market trends, and overall viability. Grading criteria:
25%
Historical performance data
25%
Market fundamentals
25%
Risk assessment
25%
Presentation quality
P.S. Do not make your project about crypto, there is no value or cash flow to back it. In my opinion, you may as well invest in HORSE SHIT. (Excuse my French)
— Professor [REDACTED]
> MY THESIS

Alternative investment: $HORSESHIT (Solana SPL Token)

Potential: Infinite. Professor literally told the entire class to invest in horse shit. I'm just following instructions.

Risks: Professor might fail me. Worth it.

Market trends: Meme coins are a multi-billion dollar market. "No value" is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that P.S.

Overall viability: Powered by spite, memes, and the unshakeable belief that proving a tenured professor wrong is worth more than any DCF model.

"Be creative and think outside the box" — so I did. He just didn't expect the box to be on-chain.

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